My five-year-old daughter thinks her dad’s job is “playing in a band” and that my job is “helping people who help people, animals, and the planet.” She’s not far off the mark – my husband is fulfilling his lifelong dream of being in a band (and it does consume his time) and I nerd out on philanthropy for a living. As an experienced fundraiser and donor advisor, I’ve been raising and guiding money into action for 20+ years.
But how you talk about philanthropy with grown-ups is different than kiddos … and helping to shape my daughter’s views about community, activism, and generosity is an especially humbling feat.
We recently started giving Hazel a weekly allowance of $5 because she is five years old. Our parenting philosophy is that chores are something we do because we are members of the household and on the same team; allowance is for the purpose of introducing concepts of money management. We want to expose her to the realities of life while hoping she stays grounded in joy and connection, which isn’t always connected to dollars in a bank account (obviously, there’s some privilege in that statement).
Of the weekly $5, $3 is for spending, $1 is for saving, and $1 is for philanthropy (which she has recently coined “sharing”). We’ve had a couple of nice conversations at the family dinner table about these concepts, but I know she doesn’t yet fully appreciate the savings and philanthropy buckets. I need to schedule some field trips to visit some local non-profits to help make things more tangible!
One helpful resource I recently came across was a report commissioned by the Gates Foundation – Raising Generous Humans by Anya Samek, an Associate Professor of Economics and Strategy at the Rady School of Management at the University of California, San Diego. Key takeaways include:
- “At the heart of this research is the idea that generosity is not an innate trait—it is learned, nurtured, and reinforced over time. Personal characteristics such as patience, empathy, and financial literacy play a foundational role.”
- “[Teaching] requires a hands-on approach: engaging children in conversations about wealth, allowing them to make their own giving decisions, and surrounding them with peers and mentors who model charitable behavior.”
- And if you are a busy working parent like myself, jump to the two simple charts that cover “Actionable Strategies” (page 5) and “Age-Specific Guidelines” (page 19).
If you’re struggling with how to involve your kids or grown-up children in your philanthropy, let’s connect for a conversation.